Out of True Superhero Shirts

Despite the growth of superhero movies, I guess there just weren’t enough popular options for workout shirts. I stalled at 8.

So I had to punt.

For breakfast, I eat cookies. For dessert, I crush workouts. And then more cookies.

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That’s right, Cookie Monster is a superhero now.

How did this come about? Well, I just ran out of options. I knew it was a possibility. Early on, I knew I wasn’t finding new shirts. The Hulk shirt I found was a bit of a fluke, and it was also the first that got off trend.

Super Awesome #5k shirt No. 8

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It’s the first that wasn’t just a true logo. And so I had to start scrounging. There were some crappy Avengers shirts that came out with the movie, but they were just too nondescript to really feel like superhero shirts. So I never bought the ones for the Avengers I didn’t already have.

If I was willing to go with compression shirts, I would have had more options, but Fatty doesn’t feel pretty in a compression shirt, so Fatty will stick with what Fatty wants. Maybe if Fatty laid off the pizza (in a little more than 24 hours, I’ve eaten nothing but pizza and one apple).

I had mentally started prepping backup plans the past few months, and I think I’m doing alright.

I started with things I already had.

That's one in the books. These first few weeks are gonna suck. #ihaterunning

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I got this Blerch shirt a couple of years ago, and I thought it would work. Of course, I signed up for the virtual Beat the Blerch, so I actually have another Blerch shirt on the way, so I will stupidly have a choice whenever it gets to that “hero’s” turn.

I also got to thinking about my app, Zombies, Run! I figured since there was a character, there would be Runner 5 shirts, and there were. The app sells shirts, so I knew that was a backup plan. I ended up buying one off a promotion they were running.

But that still left me two short.

And then Walmart spoke to me and there was a flexing Cookie Monster.

I had taken to walking by the athletic shirts section in Walmart any time I was there just in case something new showed up. It’s actually where I got my first superhero shirts.

Unfortunately, I mostly just found variations of heroes I already had. Then I found some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirts. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find my size.

And now you’re think, “But Q, you’re still one short!”

I was waiting for you to get there. Behold:

Donald

And that’s 12. This has been a really stupid, expensive joke, but whatever. Now I just need to find Lydia. Bonus points if you get the reference.

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