Lessons Learned in April

Oh what a difference a couple of weeks makes.

April has sucked. We’re on day 24, and I’ve whiffed on 11 days so far.


Can I get a do-over? I’ve only hit consecutive days twice in the past two weeks. Otherwise, I’ve been getting owned by this month.

With that, here’s what I’ve learned so far:

Corn starch is an asshole

This one is the devil. When my vision was blurry in a previous post, I thought it snuck into the sausage I was using. Two weeks later, it finally ruined a day. I bought some Sunny D just as a treat because I’m sick. I was reading the ingredients just to see how little fruit juice was in there (less than 2%). My day was ruined by Sunny D. I was so annoyed (and tired of being sick) that I decided to earn the X on my calendar by getting a sandwich and cookie.

Corn starch is hiding EVERYWHERE. Its ubiquity has been remarkably obnoxious. I had to punt on an enchilada sauce because of it. I can’t have tomato soup. And no pudding, of course. I can’t wait ’til May when I can stop looking for obscure ingredients on labels.

Eating out is rough

I knew this going in, but it only got worse. I can’t eat just salads. If you’re forgoing salads, you’re not left with many good options in restaurants, even things that just have some sort of sauce on them (see corn starch and flour).

When I took my Disney and wedding trip, this is why all my days had X’s. I wasn’t willing to starve or inconvenience myself enough. I still behaved relatively well, but I couldn’t hit my goal. Even in town, I wanted Panda Express. Well, wanted isn’t the right word. The right phrasing is I didn’t want to eat Moe’s. But I went to Panda intent on getting brown rice. Nope. They didn’t have it. Hell, I went back another time, and they didn’t even have steamed rice. They have to use steamed rice to make their fried rice, and they didn’t have any. Oy.

Spirit vs. letter of the law

This one’s been a bit tricky. Like I mentioned, corn starch is an a-hole. It caused a punt on enchilada sauce. Ironically, the non-refined grains version was actually less healthy, but I still had principles then. Things that don’t get flagged this month? Chips and ice cream. Yeah, wrap your head around that. I can’t have soup, but I can have ice cream.

And that awful week of travel wasn’t wholly undone by eating out. Two days were ruined by snacks. I had goldfish crackers to tide me over during the unending delay out of Gainesville. That was the only refined grain I had. The next day, I was undone by a pack of Oreos as I waited for the Delta personnel to man the ticketing desk when my bag went AWOL.

By and large, I haven’t really fallen off the wagon. When you’re eating healthy for a longish period, you can’t eat unhealthy. That crap doesn’t sit well when you’re body’s expected steel cut oats. So even though I’ve missed on a lot of days, I’ve eaten much healthier than I normally would. Even on my small misses, I don’t (usually) double down on the mistake to binge on something else. Today was an exception.

Cooking is hard

I’ve complained about dishes and groceries before, but I’m doing it again. I’m lazy. I don’t want to cook. I just want to eat. If I was obscenely rich, I’d hire a chef. Probably 3. And I sure wouldn’t do my own dishes. This month has been nothing but groceries and dishes.

Cooking different things is worse

In earlier post, I was happy my cooking prowess was going to expand. It did no such thing. I tried two new recipes. One was bland and had to be merged into a known recipe. Another just didn’t work. It went so poorly, it let to the first slip of the month that ended with Jimmy John’s and a big-ass brownie (and I still lost weight that day).

Turns out, I’m not a good cook. I just know how to cook a few things well.

Weight loss isn’t optional

I dropped weight, and I dropped weight fast. I dropped 3 pounds the first week.IMG_3253

Turns out it’s hard to not lose weight when you cut out all the tasty stuff and stop eating out. Even with my week off the plan, my weight stabilized at 180.

I still miss pizza

I was walking through the grocery store today eyeballing the frozen pizza. May 1 isn’t going to be pretty.



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