I can’t believe this exists

So I’ve been living in Florida, which is inadequate preparation for cold-weather running. I truly don’t know what to wear in cold weather aside from just bundling up and hoping for the best. So I googled “dress for running temperature” and this page from runner’s world showed up. It’s fantastic. You select gender, temperature, wind, time of day, what type of run, and conditions, and then it spits out a recommendation. The internet may be full of cat and gummy bear videos, but it can also be used for awesomeness.



Super Awesome Year of the 5K

hot chocolate

Without further ado, I announce my first 5K of the 2015 something or other. I really should figure out a good title for this. Super Awesome Year of the 5K is all I’ve got. Maybe that will stick. Sort of like Foo Fighters sticking even though Dave Grohl has called it a pretty terrible name.

The larger goal for the year is to stay active. Unfortunately, staying active is too vague of a concept to really strive toward. It’s not measurable on its own. You need other indicators. I can track weight and calories, but that’s not terribly interesting.

This is what leads us to the 5Ks. One of the reasons I set a goal of a 5K per month was to keep myself engaged. I call them a goal, but they’re really an indicator of success toward larger aspirations. Namely avoiding diabetes, a heart attack, and being that person that everyone prays is sitting somewhere else when they waddle onto the plane. In all seriousness, I think my real ambition in life is to fit comfortably in place seats, even crappy economy seats (scratch that, especially in the crappy economy seats).

While the 5Ks are intended to keep me engaged in the larger activity goal, I’m doing other things to help me stay engaged in the 5Ks. The zombie app is an example of this. I could very easily find other couch-to-5K programs that would be free and/or better in terms of preparation, but that misses the point. The zombie app is interesting. It’s funny. And it’s zombies.

Do you have any idea how fun it is to watch people’s faces when you tell them you’re about to go run from zombies completely deadpan? You can see the thoughts slowly roll across their face (He’s a grown man. He can’t be serious… He’s serious. He’s a grown-ass man pretending to run from zombies).

It’s fantastic.

And of course, what you’re reading is another means of staying engaged in the 5K process. This blog serves multiple purposes. I’ve mentioned before that it’s a motivation to have other people know about your goal as a means of accountability. There are also people who want to be kept up to date, so this helps there.

But it serves a purely personal benefit as well. I like writing. This is a chance to practice that skill. I might not put as much time into this type of writing as I would for other endeavors, but this is a chance to practice the skill of putting thoughts into text. It helps.

And I also can screw around some with very basic design.

I’m tracking all of my 5Ks in a handy dandy chart

Look at this awesomeness. It even has a super official title and everything.
Look at this awesomeness. It even has a super official title and everything.

Originally, I was just going to track which race I ran and my time, but I thought I’d have a touch more fun with it. I decided while I was freezing my butt off this morning to add a drawing to it related to each race. Of course, I don’t really have anything to color with, so I got to bother a coworker about stealing crayons (and having an unexpected discussion on what map colors were; guess not everyone called them that as a kid). The last time I took art was in 5th grade, so it’s about what you’d expect.

And so that leads to this momentous announcement: The first 5K will be the Hot Chocolate Classic.


So we’re in the home stretch for the first race. My lower body hates me and it’s literally freezing outside this whole week, but I’m making progress on my running, and I might not die in the first run. Might.



I’m Batman

So I’m trying to figure out if I should do a gimmick for each of my races.

Basically, I want to have a little bit of fun and possibly confuse the other runners. Something like what this guy is wearing:

And so I have to think about what I have available. I have my Blerch shirt.

Most definitely not me, but I know the feeling.

The other option is going the superhero route. I’ve got one superman t-shirt and two running shirts. One of those is Captain America. And what would the other make me?

The incomparable Michael Keaton. The only portrayer of Batman who made you think Bruce Wayne might actually be crazy.

At least I’ve got chicken

I like making bad decisions. Bad decisions are awesome.

They’re just SO much more fun that good decisions. Can’t we all agree on that?

Take for instance my lunch choice today. I could have had some shrimp and broccoli over brown rice. I could have had egg and spinach muffins. I could have done any number of things, but what did I do? I had Popeye’s. I had a three-piece dinner, with a biscuit, mashed potatoes, and red beans and rice.


Now why did I make this bad decision knowing damn well it was a bad decision?

To the layman, I just wanted something that tasted good, and it was delicious. So freakin’ delicious. Epic poems were written about this meal by Homer, but he ditched it not realizing the Popeye’s would come to be.

Or maybe I was rewarding myself for running this morning (longest distance so far).

But it was still a bad decision.

If I ran the entire distance (and most surely did not), I burned 320 calories.

And how much did I ingest for my little reward?

The chicken was about 650 calories. The biscuit was 260. Mashed potatoes were 110. And the red beans and rice were 230. (1,250 for those of you keeping score at home).

My little reward for my run netted 930 calories.

So let’s think back to Kelly McGonigal’s book The Willpower Instinct. There is a lot of evidence that we just make pretty terrible decisions when we aren’t being mindful of what we’re doing. We overestimate calories burned and underestimate calories ingested. We think we’ll make better decisions tomorrow.

But wait! I know all of this, and yet I made a bad decision. I was very mindful that I was making a bad decision.

So why would I do this? For a couple of reasons, actually. Not the most sound reasons but reasons nonetheless. There are alternatives that would be better than 1,250 calories in one sitting, but I’m ok with this bad decision.

The main reason I’m comfortable with this is that I know I’m in it for the long haul. I’m not going to beat myself up over one bad decision (or the many more that I’ll make along the way). This was a bad step, but I’m doing my best to make as many good ones as possible. I’m being much more active, and I’m doing my best to make good food choices easier for me to make on a day-to-day basis. I know it’s for the best, but it does take a lot of the fun away from my meals.

A secondary reason is that I know you can’t abstain every day. It’s not sustainable. At some point, I will make a bad decision. If I hold it off as long as possible, I could do worse damage. 1,250 calories may sound like a lot, but I can clear 2,000 very easily. And when I know I’m going to make a wondrously bad decision, I don’t half-ass it. I go all out, and I eat the absolute worst food you can imagine. Honestly, this was a calculated decision. I knew I was eating Popeye’s before I even went running. It wasn’t some last-minute decision. I knew exactly what I was going to order, including the sides. My food options were very healthy in the apartment, and I would want something more than eating all my food in one sitting. I knew I would eat this and call it quits instead of just eating nonstop all day.

So, yeah, I made a bad decision. I’m good with that, though. I know I’m making the right long-term choices, even if there was a short-term fling with a greasy abomination. And much like Leeroy Jenkins, at least I’ve got chicken.

Leeroy Jenkins



And so it begins

Happy New Year

And so it begins. For the next 12 months, we get a new 5K. I haven’t made the final choice for January, but I’m either two or three weeks away from it at this point.

I’m so screwed.

If I was being chased by a bear, I could make it about a mile. This isn’t going to end well.

But that’s the point. Right now, it won’t end well because I haven’t been in shape the past few months. The point is to get in better shape. The point is to scare Fatty away for a few more months. The point is not to become an overweight statistic.

So, I’m screwed. This month. But maybe not next month.

So far, my body is holding up reasonably well. My knee isn’t acting up an inordinate amount. I won’t be able to run all of the first 5K, but I’ll give it the old college try to see what we can do, and hopefully I can stay under 35:00 this go.

I’ve done three 5Ks before. The first came out at about 31:00 even though I walked large chunks. The second one was around 27:00 with a bit of walking. The third was around 22:00 because the organizers missed the memo on marking the route, so everyone ran really well that day.

A week after that last one, I got sick, and then work and health combined to make sure I wasn’t able to run consistently the next year, which is how we got where we are.

And so it’s a new year, and what are my resolutions? I have none. I never have any, really. I set a goal (goals are more concrete than resolutions; more specifically, they’re measurable) to run a 5K each month, but I set that back in November, so that hardly even counts as a new year’s goal.

Somehow, I survived the holidays. I managed to get in a couple of runs, which weren’t fantastic, but they’re much better than the runs I wouldn’t have taken otherwise.

I also dropped more than 5 pounds at one point.

Hmm… Maybe that shouldn’t have happened.

I ended up getting sick a couple of days after Christmas. Either a stomach virus or something I ingested, but I can’t really figure out how I got sick. No one else got sick, though I was around people the entire time. I also didn’t eat anything no one else did. So, it remains unresolved.

Not that it matters. All that matters is that for one day, I was not a functioning human. The next day, I was an almost functioning human. The third day, I was an exhausted human. And on the fourth day, I was functioning, and then beginning my trip home on the highway.

By the time I got home on the fifth day and woke up somewhat refreshed on the sixth day, I thought I was good to go. I wasn’t brave enough to run just yet, but I thought I’d give yoga a try.

It was different. Usually there are at least 5-10 people. There were only two of us in class because it was New Year’s Day: me and another person I don’t know. The class was great, and this meant class was tailored more to us and tips/suggestions were specific to us.

That said, I thought I was good to go. Turns out, I was still a bit more tired than I thought I was. My legs, in particular, were shot. Just completely shot. Between the extended chair poses, crescent lunges, and warrior poses, I was about to fall over. I was pouring out sweat. Like an obscene amount. I get dehydrated just thinking about how much I was sweating.

But I needed that. I needed to have the absolute crap kicked out of me.

And so it begins in earnest. I’ll resume normal activities, keep trying to make slightly better food decisions, and keep running from zombies two or three times a week.



Christmas Running

Running over the holidays is always a tricky game to play. As little of a runner as I am under normal circumstances, it’s even worse when I’m at home.

First and foremost is the disruption of my normal routines. I’m eating a lot more just because we eat out more back home than I do on my own. I also sleep at different times because everyone else is sleeping at different times. Going to sleep at 10 doesn’t really fly when everyone else is up and watching TV.

And the food. It’s hard to run because there’s just so much food sloshing around. I about made myself sick two days ago when I went running. I’m hoping to make it out today, but we’ll see if that happens.

But we’re making progress in finding races. As January is closing in, more 5Ks are showing up on searches. Unfortunately, they’re more than an hour away, so I’ll have to figure out the best way to handle that.

I did find one in February hosted by a fast food chain, so that should be entertaining.

I’m even trying to see if I can find one around trips I’m taking, so that could be interesting.

It’s a short post. There’s no grand statement or even useful advice. Just well wishes that if you’re a runner or fitness person that you’re doing better as you swing into your holidays than I am.



’tis the season

The Christmas season is upon us. And with the festivities comes the food. And the sleeping. And the not exercising. And then a little more eating.

I somehow made it through Thanksgiving without gaining weight. It was a herculean effort. I deserved a crown of olive leaves.

I’m still not quite sure how I pulled it off. I was militant about what I was eating. I have not been so militant as I’ve started Christmas vacation. In the last 36 hours I’ve had 4 Cokes, Burger King, Sonic, Chick Fil A, Funyuns, and chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes.

And a salad. I’m hoping that salad has super powers.

I’ve never been terribly good about staying in shape over Christmas or eating well, so we’re going to see if we can break a trend this year.

In high school, the two weeks off led to a hellish first day when we got back to our offseason workouts. I don’t want to get back to running in January and see my lunch in reverse, especially when I know I’m going to do a 5K in January (you know, with that being the overall theme of this blog, that should be somewhat apparent).

It’s interesting to see what the popular media has out there for tips. They mostly focus on food. The tips on eating healthy over Christmas are abundant but kind of useless. The tips always come back to “Don’t eat things you know are bad for you”

People tend to know what they should and shouldn’t eat, as well as how much they should eat. We just make terrible decisions. We’re the best at terrible decisions.

And so I’ll just try to use common sense.

I’ll try to eat slightly healthier options (starting tomorrow since yesterday and today were clearly a wash). I’ll try to move around when I can. And I’m going to run, even though #ihaterunning.

I brought two sets of running gear with me. I even mapped out a route, so I know where I’m running.

This week was a bad week as it was. My knee was acting up after my Sunday run, so I haven’t been out since then. I even only managed one yoga session since to allow me to rest (and to prep for the trip).

I’m just afraid of losing what little progress I’ve made to a vacation, so hopefully a 2 or 3 runs can be squeezed in while I’m here.