Recapping the First Week with New Gym

I’m not overly fond of the general update/recap thing, especially when there is no real accomplishment (e.g., finishing a race). I prefer to have an idea to share or a story to tell. But sometimes you can learn from someone else’s process, and I suppose getting started somewhere new is an accomplishment in itself.

It all started with an idea. And that idea was that I didn’t want to die of a heart attack at 40.

After getting into a good swing of things with yoga in May and June, things got completely derailed in July as I was prepping to move, then moving (and I have some stories to tell about that), and getting settled after the move.

Basically, I stopped working out and started eating like I wanted to have a heart attack at 40 (lots of battered food). I knew this would be problematic. One, I just can’t treat my body like that without paying a price. Two, my mental health will go to crap if I don’t pick up my activity level.

So that’s where the idea starts.

Two posts ago, I mentioned some perks to the new job: free gym access and massage therapists on campus.

I technically started work last week, but I was out of state most of the week and blatantly exhausted the rest of the week. I vaguely considered yoga when the weekend came around, but I still wasn’t having it. By the time Monday rolled around, I knew it was time to do something, so I packed my gym bag and mentally prepared myself to re-enter the world of the college rec center.

Did I mention I’m not overly fond of those rec centers? There’s nothing inherently wrong with them, but they’re filled with people who are 18-22. Did I mention I teach people who are 18-22? It’s just weird to see a student in the gym, especially as I’m slogging on an elliptical because my knee has vetoed running.

As I got into the right mental headspace, I put on my clothes, tied my shoes, and put on my wireless earbuds so I could roll into the gym.

I drove. It was a 1-minute drive. It’s a 5-minute walk. I’m lazy.

Not being familiar with the gym, I didn’t even really know where the entrance was or where I could park. I just assumed something would work out as I got ready to work out.

Getting into the gym is a little confusing. It’s an odd layout when you walk in. There’s no obvious direction to find anything. I’m still not sure if the weight area I found is the only weight area. Same for cardio equipment.

But that’s ok. It had what I needed and wasn’t too crowded (in between terms right now).

I had my plan typed into my phone, so I got to plugging away. As soon as I could find an elliptical that was on. I have a genuine dislike of cardio machines, especially when I can’t tell how to turn them on or if they’re already on but just sleeping. So that was 3 minutes wasted.

I finally found an elliptical machine and turns out they’re not all the same. The one at physical therapy let me adjust the length of the strides and resistance. The ones at the rec center let me address angle of the steps and resistance. I burned out my glutes in 5 minutes because I was basically doing a slow climb. Do not recommend.

Lifting was mostly an entertaining fiasco after such a long layoff. I loaded what I thought was reasonable to find out it was too heavy, then I’d go light on the next thing to avoid issues and swing the other way. And then I did single-leg deadlift and tried not to fall on my face in public. Entertaining all around.

Upper body was mostly cut the first day to avoid issues, but I got all of my leg work and most of my core work.

The next day I realized I made a fatal error: I didn’t foam roll. Whoops. Foam rolling the next day is a good way to make a grown-ass man cry.

I returned midweek but went to the other rec center (they’re adjacent to each other). The other is smaller and usually frequented by faculty instead of students, but it doesn’t have the same amount of equipment (or in some cases the same equipment). That said, it has what I need, so awesome. This went a little better because I knew where I was at physically.

And the day after that? Massage time.

The free rec center is the most important thing for practicality. But the MT on campus was the thing I was most excited about.

And it was fantastic.

Another small-framed lady like my last MT, but this one lived with her elbows digging into my muscles. Seriously, have another happy dance:

She did a great job, and I was comfortable. It took 6 months to find the right place in Mississippi. It took another 3 to find the right person I stuck with. Took me 3 weeks here.

And the bonus? I had to drive 60 miles roundtrip and pay $20 more for the same thing in Mississippi. This is a serious perk.

Two lifting sessions chased by a brutal massage session. And how do we close the week? Back in the weight room.

I made it in the late morning, and there was no one else working out. It was glorious. The workout was kind of meh as I baby myself, including a rogue shoulder, but something is better than nothing.

And what’s on tap? Yoga class. I’d say things are looking good.

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Making a Plan for the Gym

What gets measured gets done.

It’s an old adage, but it rings true. If you want to see you change, you need to document it.

But that’s only part of the battle. The other part is making a plan. You need a plan so you can actually hit your numbers.

I’m getting ready to re-enter the gym for the first time in almost two years. I had a shoulder issue (re: I still have a shoulder issue) that sidelined me, and it didn’t seem worth paying for a gym membership if there was a decent risk I couldn’t do many things. Now I have a free membership through work, so cost isn’t an option. I’m going to venture into the gym so I can try to get back to lifting and also keep up my PT exercises that I’ve completely neglected the past couple of months (in fairness, I was doing a lot of yoga, which gets the same muscles, mostly).

I can hear your thoughts: “Q, if you have a plan to succeed, what the hell do you need to tell us for?”

A couple of reasons.

The first, and the most important, telling people matters. Whether it’s something like working out (like the Super Awesome Year of the 5K) or asking that attractive gal out (winks at cute yoga girl)

I’m a lot more likely to follow through if I tell people I’m going to do it. It’s peer pressure. It’s a good version of peer pressure.

The second is I haven’t written in a while. Turns out a knee injury does wonders to derail a running blog (even a running blog about hating running; actually, at this point, I guess I should just call this a wellness blog). I haven’t been great about posting in part because I just can’t be active in the same ways that I was. I’m mostly just trying to manage things until my knee either decides it stops hating me or I get surgery.

And third, maybe this will help one of the five people who reads this far. Sometimes you hope you actually help someone out. Sometimes.

Alright, let’s get to it. Some ground rules. When I go to the gym, I’m getting the whole body. There are no leg days. There are no upper body days.

I don’t have a lot of time for lifting, and I still want to keep yoga in my routine (because my back will not allow other options).

The other thing resembling a rule is I need to keep up the PT exercises for my knee. I can’t do what I used to do in the weight room in more ways than one.

Let’s track this the way we’ll go through the workout:

First a warm up. I hate that it’s come to this: 8 minutes on the elliptical. Because it mimics running without the impact, PTs said I could do this. Ugh. I’ve also taken up jump rope, but no telling if there will be one there (and I’m not taking mine).

Next, let’s take care of those legs. This will be a few more things, so let’s see some bullets:

  • Leg press. One leg at a time. Also ugh. I’d rather just do squat. Stupid machine. I think I was going light at about 70 pounds in PT. I’ll probably up it some, and it’ll be ridiculously easy for the good leg, but balance is balance.
  • Weighted calf raises. I jumped rope for like a minute yesterday. My calves were burning. I need to do more calf raises.
  • Lunges. Multiple lunges. I’ll probably only do one or two of the varieties per workout, but these are the ones in my wheelhouse now:
    • Walking lunges – We all know this one well. It’s like the slowest way to travel from point A to point B. Seriously, crossfitters do their handstand walks quicker than you can travel doing lunges.
    • Lunge matrix – Forward, side, back. I may default to this one because it gets a lot of movement in.
    • Trail leg lunges – This just involves leaving your back leg elevated on something and dropping into your lunge.
  • Single-leg deadlift. Otherwise known as pick up the golfball. It’s not too different from warrior III in yoga. Just add weight. This one is neat because it fries my hamstring with weight and flexibility. I have issues.

Now the fun stuff. Upper body:

  • Bench. Finally. Something I know. I alternate days between dumbbell bench and barbell. I take a wide grip on the barbell and dumbbells keep my arms in tighter, so they amount to a slightly different workload.
  • Rows. Every push deserves a pull. I tend to do seated cable rows but some barbell rows get thrown in. I also do some rows with dumbbells and inverted rows, but the first two are the main ones. I have a crappy posture, so rows are a must.
  • Overhead dumbbell press. This is where I have to start being careful. This is what got my shoulder a couple of years ago, but it’s also a favorite of mine because it works the muscles that will help you look good in a shirt. I’m vain, but it’s hard to ignore that shoulders are an easy muscle to see a difference in.
  • Lat pulldowns. This isn’t where I got hurt, but I also have to be careful here because of shoulder mobility.
  • Lateral raises. Again, another shoulder exercise.
  • Shrugs. Maybe. This or upright rows, but this seems less stressful for my shoulders.
  • Bicep curls. ’cause people need tickets to the gun show. I alternate between dumbbells and a curl bar.
  • Tricep extensions. ’cause no one wants to be the guy who only does bicep curls. Might as well do them in the squat rack if you’re going to be that guy. Overhead with dumbbell and push-down with V bar are my rotations.

Now for the stuff I truly hate: core. If you ever see me actively annoyed in a weight room, I was working on core. Ideally, I’ll do all of these each workout. I’m already annoyed.

  • Planks. Another of the more important exercises I do because of cruddy posture from sitting in at a desk all day. Usually I shoot for 3 sets of 30 seconds, but PT introduced a new variety this round: 20 5-second holds. The time load is similar, but it just doesn’t feel the same.
  • Side planks. See planks.
  • Dying mermaids. Side plank with a dip or lift is a more common phrase. I like my PT’s label better. You start with your hip down and then lift it to a side plank. Holy crap this one will get you. And you’ll look like a dying mermaid. A sweaty, dying mermaid.
  • Plank rotations. Start in plank, open to a side plank, back to plank, open to the other side plank. Repeat. With this, I really have to watch my form so my hips don’t dip or rise.
  • Plank with shoulder taps. I like this one because there can be a speed element. I default to forearm planks because I want the core work, not the shoulder work of a high plank. This one variety forces me into a high plank, and then you’re lifting a hand and tapping the opposite shoulder, alternating hands. The big thing to watch here is that you aren’t swaying. You’re trying to keep your body as still as possible. Even tutorial videos don’t always get this part right.
  • Side planks with leg swings. If you’re still with us, you might drop your hip down and let it rest. This one involves swinging the higher leg back and forth tapping it down on each end of the swing. It doesn’t seem like much, especially if you drop your hip, but you’ll feel it after 3 sets of 10-15.

That’s it for the plan. There are some other things I still need to be doing for PT (namely a variety of dynamic stretches and lateral movements, but they all involve those elastic bands that I’ve got at home). I just need to build them into my morning routine.

Otherwise, that’s a pretty full workout as it is. I hope you found something useful. If not, I really just wasted your time and I have ZERO shame about it.

Let you know how it goes, sports fans. Adios.

-Q

Perks of the Move

Moving is stressful.

Let me repeat that, moving is stressful.

Ok, got it? Good.

When you fill out those life stress forms, moving is high on the list. And because moving usually entails other life stress, those forms generally predict you’re going to die in a week. That’s not good. Seriously, I just took the stupid test, and I feel into the highest category.

But we’re not going to focus on that. We’re going to focus on the positive.

When you’re going into a new job, you’re supposed to look into the benefits. I did no such thing. I looked at the job. I looked at the people. And that was it. After I accepted the job, then I started worrying about benefits.

Not how they recommend doing things.

But sometimes you dumb your way into a good situation. In my (until yesterday) current job, I basically got no real health benefits beyond normal insurance. I was able to see a doctor on campus (did I mention I’m a faculty member?), and that was about the max I got on the convenience scale. At my last job, mostly the same, though because there was an attached medical school, my health insurance was all basically in-house and comprehensive. But mostly just normal stuff.

The new job? It’s got some perks. The one I did know about from my interview was that the rec center on campus was free to use. Due to injury issues, I knew I couldn’t get the most out of a gym membership, so I hadn’t been going. This means I can do my PT exercises and whatever else my body allows. It also means I get free yoga classes, albeit probably not the type of classes I want to take. But they’re there (I’ll still give a real yoga studio a try in town).

That’s pretty nice. No gym fees, and it’ll be half a mile from my office. But that’s not all.

Wait for it.

They have massage therapy on campus.

I cannot adequately convey how happy that makes me. I had to convey it in gif form.

One of the things I am not looking forward to is having to find a new MT. If this works out, I’ll have one that is a 10-minute walk from my office. And it’s cheaper than what I pay now.

So they’ll be closer, which will cost me less time (about an hour just for travel) and gas (3 gallons of gas, so $6, give or take), and it will literally cost less (about $20 less for the same time). Please return to the above gif. I’m still in that state.

If it works out. It might not. But then again it just might.

I might start getting massages more than once a month. I always said if time and money weren’t an issue, I’d get them weekly. Maybe the universe is testing how much money counts as “not an issue.”

So free gym. Free yoga. And massage 10 minutes away from my desk. I think this could work out alright.

Puddles of Sweat

As opposed to puddles of mudd

No, we’re talking about puddles of sweat. Why are we talking about puddles of sweat? Because I’m living off of puddles of sweat at the moment.

Sometimes there’s just a lot going on in the world, and you need to cope. There are lots of ways to cope. Exercise just happens to be one of the more socially accepted varieties (I’d try meth, but I’m pretty sure that won’t get as many likes on Instagram).

I’m moving in a couple of months. I’ll be starting a new job in a new town and dealing with all the natural stressors that come along with it. And I work in a career that can be just as stressful as you want it to be.

Coping means creating puddles of sweat.

I’ve been creating puddles of sweat for a long time now. I started doing sports when I was 5. I wasn’t very good (re: I was downright bad), but I was active. I was a kid who played a lot of video games and read a lot of books, but I was also a kid who spent a lot of time on football fields and basketball courts. As I got older, I spent more time being active and less time on video games (books never went away, though. I even have a handy dandy 2nd blog documenting that habit).

While I was running around as a kid, I didn’t pay much attention to the puddles of sweat. As a teenager, I started paying more attention. One was vanity. 9 times out of 10, being a sweaty mess isn’t how you get a cute girl’s attention in high school. Two was pride. I started seeing a sweat-soaked shirt as a badge of honor. Something I earned the hard way.

This came about from the weight room. You’d have the entire varsity and JV football teams in one weight room lifting a lot and lifting fast. There were days my entire shirt was soaked just from lifting. I couldn’t pull that off if I tried these days (and if I did pull it off, I’d probably be asked not to return to that gym any more, please sir).

But that’s where it started. There was this masochistic urge to feel completely worn out and broken down. That was when you knew the workout was good.

As I got into college, the puddles of sweat largely went away. When I lifted, I was going for strength, not cardio. It was a good workout, one that would often leave me barely able to move, but there wasn’t much in the way of sweat. Unless I ran. When I run, I pour out sweat like a faucet. A stinky faucet.

I probably didn’t start appreciating my puddles of sweat again until I was working on my Ph.D. (did I mention I’m a fake doctor?). I worked on my degree in Florida, which is basically like hanging out in a sauna that has gators nearby.

Running was an easy way to achieve sweaty mess status. I finally soaked shirts all the way through for the first time since high school. But this barely counts. I was running outside in Florida summers (basically March to October). It was earned, but it wasn’t the same as doing it in a weight room.

But you know what does feel the same? Yoga.

I started doing yoga in ’09 to kill time and mitigate back pain. This was just at home in my living room to keep from being an embarrassment in a class. I can’t remember when I first pulled it off, but as I was able to progress in the book I used, I was doing a more vigorous workout. Eventually I was soaked in sweat to a point that my mat was slick and a little dangerous to use for some poses.

And there was pride. So much pride.

In an air conditioned apartment doing what seemed like glorified stretching, I was pushing myself to a point where I was indecently sweating. That was something.

Eventually, I realized I liked being exhausted. Even later, I realized I was craving the exhaustion. There are a whole host of things wrong with that, but the fringe benefit is that you have to work out to get that particular type of exhaustion.

As for the host of things that are problematic, this isn’t the only thing I treat this way. I like to dive into things. I dive into work. I dive into books. I dive into songwriting. I dive into cleaning. I dive into interactions with people (on more than one occasion, I’ve had 2-hour conversations with people I just met). It’s addictive behavior. Addictive tendencies lead to being on reality shows hosted by Dr. Drew. I recognize that about myself.

The real trick is to take that inner addict and channel him toward something useful. It doesn’t always work, but when I get addicted to workouts, at least I’m doing something good for me and probably not being a jerk to the people around me.

But let’s get back to those puddles of sweat. That terminology comes from this video (that I watch entirely too often when I need some inspiration):

The video spoke to me. I understood the benefits of exercise in moments when you weren’t especially happy with yourself or the world around you. I understood the puddles of sweat. I understood how those puddles of sweat could help you function. I understood how those puddles of sweat could help you sleep.

With my knee being an asshole, I had to do without my puddles of sweat for a couple of months, and it about drove me insane.

Physical therapy wasn’t just me getting the chance to help my knee. This was also the window I needed to help my brain. I don’t sit still well. I crave puddles of sweat.

All in all, the past few weeks have been pretty good to me. I was able to stay active between PT and yoga (I was inching toward 5 days of workouts a week at one point). Unfortunately, my favorite yoga teacher stopped teaching classes temporarily and PT ended.

I was dealing with a puddles of sweat problem.

Finally, I couldn’t stand it any more. I did the ashtanga workout (mostly) on my own at home. I kept the AC turned up to the I’m-not-home level of mid-80s. I set up shop in my living room, and I went after it. It was about as good as I could hope for.

The next day, I tried to do the ashtanga warmup and actually had my arms give out near the end. Not a win for that day, but at least we know the day before did its job.

A few days later, I was able to go after the full workout again. This time was even better. I think I’d left the thermostat up a little higher. I was dripping sweat.

And the next day (today), what did I do? I went to a heated yoga class. My knee was doing ok, so I took the risk of class with a new teacher when I was still tired from the day before.

It was brutal and it was worth it. Again, so much sweat dropping onto the mat and onto the floor. I earned that sweat. That sweat is currency for sleep and you have to get it as many days as you can manage.

This isn’t the first time I’ve talked about the masochistic therapy of working out before, but sometimes you have to revisit the old topics. If you want another take on this instead of the video or this post, The Oatmeal has a fantastic comic that is well worth your time.

But that’s it from me. I’m going to recuperate from making puddles of sweat and hope my knee likes me enough to do it all over again tomorrow.